When two people meet for the first time, they form a preconceived judgement of one another from the impression they are left with after the first couple seconds of dialogue, and often generalize that person based on the traits they perceive the other to have. The first impression is often formed from the others appearance physically, and by the confidence emanating off of them. With this knowledge I can only assume that I haven't left many great first impressions. The first thing that people will detect about me is how I am generally very shy at first. I generally will not initiate a conversation with someone that I am unfamiliar with and definitely do not ooze any confidence. I would rather sit in silence, than try to start up some small talk with people who I do not feel confident talking too. Even if a conversation is miraculously established, the task of getting more than a couple words to escape out of my mouth begins, and is just as troublesome.
On the other end of the spectrum, given a comfortable environment, and moment of silence, the words seem to erupt from my mouth, spewing everywhere. Its as if the words and phrases were dammed up inside of my vocal cords and finally break through, eager to escape. Requests quickly change from “speak up” to “quiet down”, begging that I “participate more” to pleading with me to “stop conversing”, or to at least tone down my voice to a reasonable murmur. It’s remarkable how quickly I can transform from the quiet kid sitting in the back of the room, to the main source of noise in the room. Synonymously to an oxymoron, my name contradicts itself, implying both silence and commotion. It is difficult to determine the lesser of two evils. You can have an awkward silence, lacking any communication, or you can have the eardrum shattering words spilling out steadily, and seemingly never ending. But I’ll leave that decision up to my peers. The same people who are burdened with sitting in a room with me for an hour and a half at a time.
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